"THAT'S What You're Wearing?"

Many people have asked me if I felt restricted while in the Middle East, particularly while in Saudi Arabia. They’re often surprised when I share that I didn’t mind wearing the abaya and hijab, although it was frustrating trying to get the hijab to stay on my head all the time since it was so silky. It was warm, as well, particularly in 90+ degree heat and sun. Saudi women are required to wear the abaya and it is highly suggested that visiting women wear the abaya, particularly because I’ve heard of experiences where women who aren’t wearing them are harassed by the religious police. Although it wasn’t required that I wear the hijab , I definitely felt more comfortable doing so. I felt less exposed, more like I blended in, less like people were staring at me, particularly since I’m such an oddity – a pale white woman with freckles and red hair. I’ve often felt like I was out of place while in the Middle East, mostly because the people there don’t experience women who look like me very often. They’re either very intrigued, curious, or look at me like I’m the devil! Haha! All in all, I felt pretty comfortable while I was out and about, and I can’t remember any time I felt scared or worried. Of course, I felt cautious being in a different culture and surrounded by a language I didn’t understand, but who wouldn’t? 

The only time I felt restricted was when I was shopping in Saudi Arabia. Since a male has to be alongside a woman at all times while out, I felt restricted in my shopping as I browsed store to store. I had to ensure I had a man with me as I wandered in the markets. He’d typically wait outside the store I was in, and if I got ahead of him while I was browsing, he’d either call me back to be alongside him or hurry to catch up with me. And since men typically don’t enjoy shopping all that much, I felt that I was holding him up. I didn’t feel free to explore as I could elsewhere in the world. I didn’t like being held back. This was the one and only time I felt restricted in the Saudi culture. But then again, not living there, I wouldn’t have been exposed to not being able to drive, or vote, or even eat in restaurants without family sections. I wonder if most women even realize they’re restricted; growing up in a certain way and being exposed to only that – it’s all you know and it seems normal.

I did notice, however, that I become much more conservative while in the Middle East, even in my thinking. For instance, I would encounter some Western women in Qatar who were wearing skirts or tight clothing, or shirts that showed a bit of cleavage. I would think to myself, “what in the world are you thinking?! You DON’T dress like that over here.” Not only does it give Westerners a bad reputation and is seen as being inconsiderate, but it’s disrespectful of the culture that you’re living in while you’re over there. I question how people even feel comfortable wearing clothing like that in the Middle East, as I’m sure they’re getting stared at and possibly even harassed. Even when I was in more 'liberal' countries such as Qatar, I would still wear long pants that went to at least my ankles, sandels, and possibly a short-sleeved shirt. I would carry a cardigan with me too so that if I was in a situation where I felt I was too exposed, I could just put it on. I think it's very important to try to fit into foreign cultures as much as possible while traveling - you, as well as your fellow travelers, are more comfortable, the citizens of where you're traveling see you as making an effort to assimilate and respect that, and it enhances your overall traveling experience, making it a more genuine adventure.